What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens