There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
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