What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.