When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Go to BabaMail
