What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!