Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
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