What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
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