What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
"Be kind, re-wine."
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
One should always practice what they peach.
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
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