What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
What a spud muffin.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
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