Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
"Be kind, re-wine."
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
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