What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Most of the fruits usually drink their juice with a straw-berry.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
"Read between the wines."
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
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