You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
Why was the pizzeria desperate for business?
Because they kneaded the dough!
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
Go to BabaMail
