When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
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