What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
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