The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
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