She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
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