Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
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