What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
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