How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
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