Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
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