What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
One of the most courageous souls in the world is anybody who looks at a pineapple and thinks that “I bet I would eat it.”
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
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