My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Go to BabaMail
