I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Why was the salad late to the dinner party?
He was waiting for his wife to get dressing.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
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