My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!