What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!