An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.