You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.