My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
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