Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!