I hate dentists.
Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started.
I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you have plaque on your wall?"
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie?
Jaws.
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
What do you call a tree without teeth?
A gumtree.
Ever use one of those expensive toothbrushes?
It's breath-taking.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.
Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth...
He said it was acci-dental.
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.
In Oral, B.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments?
She finds them obtooth.
After trying out floss for the first time, I couldn't believe how nice it felt.
It truly was a breath of fresh air.
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
My dentist says I don't brush enough but hey-
We all have our floss.
You're not allowed to eat teeth
It's for-bitten.
My wife says to me this morning "Our son's toothbrush is getting fraid"
I say "What's it so fraid of?"
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy Bear.
I asked my friend for a tube of toothpaste. He gave me the smallest tube I’ve ever seen.
Next time, I’ll ask for teethpaste.
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
Why did the deer get braces?
Because he had buck teeth.
I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed...
To be honest this is pretty de-molar-izing.
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?
A Molar Bear.
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
Where do killer whales go to get their braces?
The orca-dontist.
Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
A thief stole my toothbrush.
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath.
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
Brace yourselves kids!
Our dentist is shutting down.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
What is the favourite toothpaste of the security guards of a mining company?
Coalgate.
What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
Whoever came up with the word dentures really missed an opportunity to call it "Substi-tooths"
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