Vegetables

Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
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