It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
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