It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
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