It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
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