It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
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