China

What do you call a knight made entirely out of china?
Sir Ramic.
Did you know it's illegal to water your plants in China ?
It causes the microphones to rust.
Why are Me and China alike?
We both like to delete our history.
The International Survey
The International Survey A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure, because... In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
What is the most common crime in China? Identity Fraud.
Shenanigans in China
Shenanigans in China An American tourist went on a trip to China. While in China, he was very sexually promiscuous and did not take any precautions. A week after arriving back home he awakened one morning to find his member covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately went to see his doctor. The doctor, having never seen anything like that before, ordered some tests and told the man to return in two days for the results. The man returned a couple of days later and the doctor said, "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it." The man looked a little relieved and said, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc." The doctor answered, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure other than to amputate your member." The man screamed in horror, "Oh no! I want a second opinion!" The doctor replied, "Well it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice." The next day, the man sought out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'd know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examined his member and proclaimed, "Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease." The guy said to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my member!" The Chinese doctor shook his head and laughed, "Stupid American doctor! American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money that way." "Then there's no need to operate? Oh, thank God!" the man replied. "Yes!" said the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks, it fall off by itself!"
Gifts From China
Gifts From China A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids. He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, 'What happens if this doesn't work?' The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, 'GUARANTEE NO SPOILED'. Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it wouldn't even switch on. He quickly returned to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refuses to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of the guarantee. The shopkeeper then said, 'Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.'