M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
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