Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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