You enter this section at your own discretion, there is nothing we can do for you if Chuck Norris discovers you've been here...

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch this.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'