Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?
The hammer explodes because it is not worthy.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
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