“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
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