“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore