"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
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