"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
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