"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults."
– Mitch Hedberg
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
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