"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
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