"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz