Notice Jokes

Some People Shouldn't Write Signs! Some signs either make no sense or too many! On a bathroom door: "Toilet out of order. Please use floor below." In a laundromat: "Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out." In a london department store: "Bargain basement upstairs." In an office: "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday Please bring it back? Or further steps will be taken." Outside a secondhand shop:  "We exchange anything bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?' Notice in health food shop window: "Closed due to illness." Spotted in a safari park: "Elephants please stay in your car." Seen during a conference: "For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, There is a day care on the 1st floor." Notice in a farmer's field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges." Message on a leaflet: "If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons." On a repair shop door: "We can repair anything. (please knock hard on the door The bell doesn't work)."
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you look a lot like my next girlfriend.”
- Will Smith, Hitch (2005)
"Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice."
— Otto von Bismarck
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve got 3 bags of Cool Ranch Doritos in your basket. Marry me?
Did you ever notice that supermarket music is actually ideal for slow dancing with strangers?
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
"Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference."
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