Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”