Math Puns

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Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
What do you call dudes who love math?
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
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