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Math Puns

Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.