Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Go to BabaMail
