Organ Jokes

My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.

What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
What's worse than spiders on your piano? Crabs on your organ.
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
Why are eyes always the last organ harvested?
because they dilate.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
The Chinese Doctor While in China, an American single man acts promiscuous and does not use protection the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his... swimsuit area... covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. After two days, the doctor tells him, “I’ve got bad news for you, you have contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US. We know very little about it." The man perplexed asks, "Well, can’t you give me a shot or something to fix me up, Doc?" The doctor answers, "I’m sorry, there's no known cure. We are going to have to amputate." "Wait... WHAT?!" The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!" The doctor replies, "Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option.” The man shops around, going to many doctors and experts, but they all tell him the same, they must remove the organ. At some point a friend tells him, "You contracted this in China right? Then why not go to a CHINESE doctor?" The man, having not thought of that, seeks out a Chinese doctor in the hopes he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines the problematic area and proclaims, "Ahh... yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease." The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my organ!" The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid American docttahs, always want operate, make more money that way. No need to amputate!" "Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims. "Yes yes,” says the Chinese doctor. "Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself."
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Would you like to play my organ?
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
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