Disease

Undeveloped
Undeveloped Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance. Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 years old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. “I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married.” She said, “Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant penis.” Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait so Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touch teasing, holding one another. As Sandy put her hands in Jim’s pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. She said, “You told me your penis was the size of an infant!” “Well yea it is." Jim said innocently. "8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long.”
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!
My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath.
She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
George Burns
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
Yo momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have Alzheimer’s Disease, Cheese on toast.