I'm a gardener and I'm OK I sleep all night and I plant all day! I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs. Oh I'm happy in the garden With dirt and plants and bugs.
How do you know you are a Master Gardener? There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter. You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store. You prefer gardening to watching television. You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks. Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever made love to a woman.
"Tarzan not know lovemake." he replied.
Jane explained to him what it was.
Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.
"Here." she said, pointing to her privates, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her right in the crotch!
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for??!!"
"Always check for squirrel."