A DEA police officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. From the first second he had a bad attitude about him, annoyed he had to muddy his clean boots out in the country. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Alright, you can search the ranch, but do not go in that field over there."
The DEA officer, clearly angry, says, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.
"See this badge? DO you?!? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land, no questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand me?!?" He shouts.
The rancher nods quietly, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis Bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, as he runs for all he's worth.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs:
"Your badge... Show him your BADGE!!!"
My computer has a language That is foreign to me It speaks of RAM and Gigabytes And what could ROM be! I don’t understand the Windows My computer says are there Nor the Gem Clip at the side of my page Wth eyes that blink and stare! I don’t unerstand the cures That maintenance wizards do It’s called defragmenter, span disk, And virus cleaning too! Yet, computer and I work hand and eye With a mouse to translate The tasks that I want it to do While it points out my mistakes! (Burmah M. Teague)
It’s your birthday, I know But I couldn’t care less Where is the cake, that’s the part I love best? I understand it’s your birthday But I am telling you now If the cake doesn’t come soon I’m throwing in the towel