On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift.
She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny.
The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking.
She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said Little Johnny.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it juice?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Johan and Eric, two computer geeks with little social experience, ran into each other at the college entrance.
"That's a great bike you have there! What made you get it?" Eric asked Johan.
Johan got off the bike, removed his helmet and responded: "I didn't purchase it, Andrea gave it to me as a gift."
"As a GIFT?!" Eric exclaimed in surprise, "I always knew she was into you, but this is taking it to a whole new level!"
Johan smiled and told him: "Yesterday I was strolling in the park and I saw Andrea on this bike. She came to me without saying anything, tossed the bike aside, then took off all her clothes and said 'Take whatever you want!'"
Eric's jaw was hanging loose.
"So, I took the bike." Johan finished.
Eric nodded in agreement and stated: "Good decision, her clothes wouldn't fit you."