If marriage is grand, what is divorce?
Ten grand!
Why did the cat get divorced?
He was a cheetah.
Why did the whisky divorce the glass?
Their marriage was on the rocks!
Unfortunately, the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They just had no spark.
Why did the pig want a divorce?
Her husband was a boar.
What do you call a divorce but for bananas?
Banana split!
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
What’s the only thing divorce proves?
Whose mother was right in the first place.
Why did the wife divorce the baker?
Because he was much too kneady.
Why did the Math teacher get a divorce?
He substituted his wife for an ex.
The divorce lawyer told me to get my affairs in order.
I said, "alphabetically or by age?"
My Karate teacher is getting a divorce.
He is a great Sensei, but he's not very skilled at the marital arts.
My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn’t.