Forever

What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
How to Get People Off Drugs
How to Get People Off Drugs Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for doing drugs. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday and you better have gotten some results or you're going straight to jail." On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? " "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your sphincter before prison... '"
Why was the physicist studying gravitational fields handsomer than the one studying electrical fields?
Electrical Fields may be repulsive at times, but Gravitational Fields are forever attractive.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
Nothing lasts forever. Can you be my nothing?
What's the difference between love and herpes? Love doesn't last forever.
I pitcher us together forever.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
Being Senior Can Be a Funny Thing...
Being Senior Can Be a Funny Thing... Want to live forever? Then choose one of these professions: Old bankers never die, they just lose their interest! Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal. Old limbo dancers never die, they just go under. Old printers never die, they're just not the type. Old tanners never die, they just go into hiding. Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip. Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive. Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver. Old actors never die, they just drop apart. -------------------------------------- Three old guys were out walking. First one said, "Windy, isn't it?" The second one said, "No, it's Thursday!" The third one said, "So am I. Let's go get a beer!" -------------------------------------- Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:  BFF: Best Friend Fainted  BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth  CBM: Covered by Medicare  FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers  LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out  GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
I love you meow and forever.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Roses are red,
Foxes are clever,
I like your butt,
Can I touch it forever?
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
Steven Wright
Gary Delaney
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)