Shop

Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
One Saturday morning at three,
A cheese monger's shop in Paree.
Collapsed to the ground,
With a thunderous sound,
Leaving only a pile of de brie.
If ice cream could be grown on the tree top,
Tiny tummies would be liking it lots.
Any fruit flavour
For all to savour.
Do stop by at the ice cream tree shop.

If only the trees could grow lollipops
With a sharp tangy taste of lemon drops.
Lolly licky-lick
With a zingy twist.
Come along with a skip and a hop.

If chocolate heaven grew on tree leaf,
Bountiful, tempting, delicious to eat,
A smooth, silky, treat
In a chocy feast.
If only they weren't so out of reach.

If bubblegum grew upon trees that blew
Bubbles in the air, to catch and to chew.
Be nimble, be quick;
Remember the trick.
Don't swallow, because gum sticks like glue.

All are welcome at the Candy Tree Shops.
Feast your eyes on all the goodies they've got.
There are enough treats
For all down the streets,
So come and join the jiggery-jog.

(By Beryl L Edmonds)
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
The Farmer and the Unruly Cow
The Farmer and the Unruly Cow A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his sorrows in his beer. "What's up, John?" asked the farmer. "Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon, I'm gonna have to close my shop." "Now John, things could be worse," said Bob. "How do you figure?" asked John. "Well, John - you know my 'ornery cow, Bessie? I went to milk her this morning and she just kept flicking her tail in my face. So I grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the rafter. Then, the nasty thing went and kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to the wall. Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me! But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie her other leg to the other side of the stall. Well wouldn't you just know it...my damn pants fell down." "And John, if you can convince my wife that I was in there to MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you."
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
The Expensive Barbie Doll
The Expensive Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work, and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He dashes over to a toy shop and asks the sales person: "how much for one of those Barbies in the display window?" The salesperson returns: "which one do you mean, Sir? We have Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $199.95." The amazed father asks: "how much?! Why is the divorced Barbie $199.95 and the others only $19.95?" The annoyed salesperson sighs and answers: "Sir, the other Barbies only come with an outfit. Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and one of Ken's best friends."
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
An Iranian entrepreneur opened a copy shop.
It's called *Prints of Persia*.