I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I really like you. So does my wife.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
I think we need to become better strangers.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
We're donion rings.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
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