Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
We should make like your parents and split.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
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