Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
"It's not me, it's you!"
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
We should make like your parents and split.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
I really like you. So does my wife.
I think we need to become better strangers.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
We're donion rings.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
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