Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
I think we need to become better strangers.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Can we still share a netflix account?
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
I really like you. So does my wife.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
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