Fight

A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
The Secret to a Happy Marriage
The Secret to a Happy Marriage A traveler once visited a small village in the countryside. At the local bar, someone asked him if he was married. "I'm divorced, actually. Never could find a woman I didn't end up fighting with all the time," he replied. The local man said: "Then you should go talk to the old couple that lives on the hill outside the village. Rumor has it that they've been married over 60 years and they've never fought this whole time." "What?? That's impossible! Everyone has fights!" Exclaimed the traveler. But the local swore to him it was the truth and nothing but. The traveler just had to check it out, and in the morning he knocked on the door of the little house on the hill and was immediately welcomed by the husband, who invited him in for tea. After the traveler explained why he came to see him, the man smiled and nodded. "It's true. We never fight." "PLEASE," begged the traveler, "can you tell me your secret?" "Well," said the old man, "it all started about 60 years ago, right after the wedding. We were riding our mule back to town and walking it down the street when it tripped over a stone and my wife said to him: 'That's one.' "We kept riding and he tripped again on another stone, which made my wife immediately say: 'That's two.' "Two minutes later, the mule trips over a stone again. My wife said: 'That's three.' She pulled out a gun I never knew she had and shot it in the head without thinking twice! I was shocked and yelled at her: 'What the heck do you think you're doing? We needed that mule! Are you crazy?!' "My wife looked me straight in the eye and said: 'That's one.' "And we haven't had a fight since."
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet
I asked my 15 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
The Bear's Feet
The Bear's Feet A man loses his legs in a bear fight Despite this, he wins the fight, and uses the bears legs to replace his own. By the time he gets to a hospital, he has full control over his legs, The doctors tie the legs better, and let him keep them, About a month later, a ringmaster of a freak circus finds him, and offers him a job in the circus. He accepts, and a few months later, is ready for his first act. He walks in front of the audience, and loudly exclaims: 'I will now walk over these hot coals bear-foot!'
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
Who did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
The Familiar Old Man
The Familiar Old Man One day when Jesus was relaxing in Heaven, He happened to notice a familiar-looking old man. Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, "Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?" "Yes," said the old man, "but he wasn't my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens." "Very interesting," said Jesus. "Did this boy ever have to fight temptation?" "Oh, yes, many times," answered the old man. "But he eventually won. Unfortunately, he heroically died at one point, but he came back to life shortly afterwards." Jesus couldn't believe it. Could this actually be HIS father? "One last question," He said. "Were you a carpenter?" "Why yes," replied the old man. "Yes I was!" Jesus rubbed His eyes and said, "Dad?" The old man rubs tears from his eyes and said, "Pinocchio?"
I'll fight you with my bear hands.
Oh, deer.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.