Jail

Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
The Old Lady Shoplifter
The Old Lady Shoplifter An old lady gets caught shoplifting. On court day the lady and her husband who goes stand before the judge and she says to her, "Why did you shoplift?" And she says "I was hungry." The judge says "What did you take?" She replies, "A can of peaches." The judge thinks on this and comes to a decision. "How many peaches where in the can?" "Six." says the old lady. "Then you shall serve six days in jail." Decrees the judge. "Do you have anything to add?" "Ah, your honor?" Her husband suddenly raises his hand. "She stole a can of peas too."
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games.
But that's a Risk I'm willing to take.
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
Sign vs. Sign
Sign vs. Sign A couple young, entrepreneurial prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on the top of their car that read: "Two hookers – $50.00." A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they will have to remove the sign or go to jail. Right about that time a minivan passed by with a sign on the side of it that read: "Jesus Saves." "How come you don’t stop them?" asked one of the girls. "Well, that’s a little different," the officer replied. "their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies of the night pouted a bit, but they took their sign down and drove off peacefully. The following day the same police officer was running radar when he noticed the same two young ladies driving around with another sign on their car. Sighing, he flipped his lights on and began to catch up when he noticed the what the new sign read: "Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter – $50.00."
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
Why did the Catholic priest get sent to jail?
Tax evasion.
That's What You Get For Speeding
That's What You Get For Speeding A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer." the man began, "I can explain". "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..." "But officer, I just wanted to say...." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."