Chef Jokes

Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
The Horse and the Chicken A man faces a violation for adding horse meat to the chicken stew in his restaurant. At the court he’s asked why he did it and how much horse meat was in those stew. “For the money of course and I solemnly swear I always kept the ratio 50:50!” While the infraction caused many unhappy customers, upon seeing the man’s honesty the judge decides not to revoke his license. However he in turn must always advertise that horse is part of the ingredients. With a sigh of relief, the restaurant owner pays the fine and walks out of the court house with his wife and friend He friend asked him “Did you really put horse meat or did you add anything else with the chicken?” “Nope. Only horse meat and chicken”. “Now tell me the truth man, come on, it was mostly horse meat wasn’t it?” “Nope. It was always 50:50... one horse per one chicken.”
The Husband's Budgetary Concerns A rich man comes home and immediately starts shouting at his wife. "I've been looking at our expenses and they are through the roof! What have you got so much to spend on? From now on, things will need to be different!" "Different how?" the wife asked. "Well, for starters, if you learned how to cook, we wouldn't need a personal chef. If you learned to clean, we wouldn't need a maid!" The wife looks at him and responds: "Then we just need to teach you how to satisfy a woman. Then we can let the gardener go as well."
Forgot His Prayers A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!” Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook!”
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
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