Expensive

Their 40th Anniversary
Their 40th Anniversary John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new mink coat?" he asks. "Not really," says Mary. "Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John. "No," she responds. "Would some beautiful new jewelry do the trick?" he asks, becoming slightly exasperated. "Nah..." she shrugs. "What about a new vacation home in the country?" he persists. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks." "Well what WOULD you like?" John asks. "I want a divorce." answers Mary. Sorry," John sighed. "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
In Desperate Need of Whiskey
In Desperate Need of Whiskey A man walks into a bar and briskly orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots. The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up. The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, “again.” The bartender looks a little surprised, but lines of 12 more shots. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.” The bartender, visibly concerned, fills up 12 more shots and lines them on the bar. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.” The bartender says “hold up man! You gotta slow down!” The man says “trust me, if you had what I had, you’d be drinking this fast too.” “My God,” says the bartender, quietly leaning over the bar he asks, “what do you HAVE?” “A dollar.”
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
A man gives his wife an expensive bottle of wine for her birthday. After a few glasses the wife blurts out, “I love you”.
The husband responds: “Is that you or the wine talking?”

Wife: “This is me, talking to the wine”.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
Why was the bouncy castle so expensive? Due to the cost of inflation.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
My wife bought me an expensive umbrella and she’s been holding it over my head ever since.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.