Their 40th Anniversary
Their 40th Anniversary John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new mink coat?" he asks. "Not really," says Mary. "Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John. "No," she responds. "Would some beautiful new jewelry do the trick?" he asks, becoming slightly exasperated. "Nah..." she shrugs. "What about a new vacation home in the country?" he persists. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks." "Well what WOULD you like?" John asks. "I want a divorce." answers Mary. Sorry," John sighed. "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”

- Mary Bly.
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
What do you call Mary J Blige’s accommodating Irish cousin?
Mary O’Blige.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
Why would you Mary Shelley when you could marry me?
There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?
Mary Astor
“Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter? Her name is Mary Christmas.”
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
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