Tennis

Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball
Great service.
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
The Wife's Math
The Wife's Math A woman comes home and find a letter from her husband on the dinner table. She opens it and reads: "My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, as a 54 year-old, can no longer satisfy. I'm very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. However, after reading this letter, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn. Please don't be upset, I shall be back before midnight." When the man came home late that night, he found a reply to his letter on the dining room table: "My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. I would like to inform you that, while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also an assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile and, like your secretary, he is 18. You, being a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of maths, will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18...
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."

The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the sun off'aya when it's hot and the rain off'aya when it rain'n."

"Why do you all wear vests?" Well mame, it keeps ya warm when it's cold but it leaves your arms free for rope'n and work'n."

"What about the chaps? " "They keep the burrs and brambles off'a ya."

She says "that all makes perfect sense, but what I don't understand is why you'd wear tennis shoes."

"Aww, that's easy, that's so folks don't mistake us for TRUCKERS!"