The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
The Wife's Math
A woman comes home and find a letter from her husband on the dinner table. She opens it and reads:
"My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, as a 54 year-old, can no longer satisfy. I'm very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. However, after reading this letter, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn. Please don't be upset, I shall be back before midnight."
When the man came home late that night, he found a reply to his letter on the dining room table:
"My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old.
I would like to inform you that, while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also an assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile and, like your secretary, he is 18.
You, being a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of maths, will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18...
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.