Peas Jokes

Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”

Needless to say I was in stitches.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
The Old Lady Shoplifter An old lady gets caught shoplifting. On court day the lady and her husband who goes stand before the judge and she says to her, "Why did you shoplift?" And she says "I was hungry." The judge says "What did you take?" She replies, "A can of peaches." The judge thinks on this and comes to a decision. "How many peaches where in the can?" "Six." says the old lady. "Then you shall serve six days in jail." Decrees the judge. "Do you have anything to add?" "Ah, your honor?" Her husband suddenly raises his hand. "She stole a can of peas too."
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
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