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Hit

One Liners and Short Jokes
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

“Nobody puts baby in a coroner.”
Water Puns
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
Jokes For Women
What is the difference between a man and a tree? One is illegal to hit with an ax.
Snail Puns
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
Head Puns
I lost my memory after getting hit on the head by a boomerang.
It's all coming back to me now.
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball
Great service.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Valentines Day Puns
What should you get Lassie, the star of the hit TV show, for Valentine's Day?
A cauliflower.
The Super Wife
The Super Wife Sam and his wife Rachel were playing golf at the club when she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway. Sam said, 'Wow I have never seen you play this well before!' 'I took lessons.' Says Rachel. A couple of days later on the tennis court in mixed doubles, she smashes her serves and never misses a point. Sam said to her: 'Wow I have never seen you hit so well before!' 'I took lessons.' Says Rachel. On the weekend they settled into a nice dinner at home. Rachel brings out the perfect plates of Beef Wellington and Sam says, 'Delicious! I have never seen you cook like this before!' 'I took lessons.' Says Rachel. After dinner she gives him THAT look and they go upstairs. About 30 minutes later Sam rolls over and says 'Wow! That was incredible, amazing, so hot! I want a divorce.'
Worm Puns
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
Diving Puns
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
Quotes
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.”
Chris Rock
Train Puns
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.

Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
Avocado Puns
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
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