Country Jokes

The artist successfully climbed the highest peak in the country. He attributed his success to the song, 'Paint No Mountain Higher!'
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
I devoted my life to get to this country. Now that I am here, I will save my life to show you love & affection.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
You’ve got more curves than a cross country track.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
The day after your birthday,
you look in the mirror to see:
a) you've got a zit from eating all that cake;
b) your love handles have expanded a half inch;
c) you singed your eyebrows blowing out the candles.

The day after your birthday,
a) you require six extra hours of sleep;
b) you can't find your living room under the birthday debris;
c) you wonder how you could possibly have done THAT.

The day after your birthday, it's time to:
a) return some gifts (what IS that, anyway?);
b) call your friends and apologize for yesterday;
c) get out of the country, fast.

The day after your birthday...
we should all look so great
and have it so good!

Happy Birthday!
Appreciate yourself and your life!

(Joanna Fuchs)
I'm a man without a country. Can I be a citizen of you?
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Which country hates Thanksgiving?
Drunk and Cursing One day, a drunk man busted into the mayor's office shouting "This country is c*ap! This country is c*ap!" An irritated police officer ran towards him and asked, "What did you say?" The drunk replied, "A disgraced country, c*ap, I said!" The officer decided to arrest the man, handcuffed him, and took him to the police station. The next day, when they went to court, the drunk claimed that he indeed said 'this country is a disgrace,' but he meant Iran. The judge was irritated at the officer for wasting his time, so he imposed a hefty fine on the officer for abusing his power. As they were leaving the court, the officer said, "How is it that you curse and I get fined?" "Didn't I tell you?" said the drunk, patting him on the back, "This country is c*ap..."
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