Half

What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
Half Wishes
Half Wishes A woman's husband was cheating on her. The woman and her husband got a divorce and the woman went on with her life hating her ex-husband. One day she found a beautiful lamp tossed in the streets. She picked it up and rubbed it a little bit. Suddenly, a genie popped out of the lamp! The genie said: "I feel that you are married. You have 3 wishes woman, but know that anything you ask for your husband will get as well, only double! Sorry but the rules were written at a more primitive time." So, the woman thinks of a first wish... "I want to be rich!" So, the woman became rich, and the husband became twice as rich! So, the woman thinks of a second wish... "I want to be beautiful!" So, the woman became beautiful, and the husband became twice as beautiful. "Okay", the genie says. "This is your last wish so be careful what you wish for." The woman thinks real hard and finally comes to a decision. "I Want You To Scare me HALF To Death!"
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
You'll never be half as funny as you look!
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
“I hate being half bike, half motorcycle,” he moped.